Story Coverage

Hello everyone and Happy Wednesday. I figured the 27th anniversary of my introduction to this world would be an event grand enough to spurn my writing again. On a wednesday, my designated writing day, no less.

So to help familiarize people with different aspects of my job, one of the many things I get to do is write coverage for scripts that are submitted for clients. Other duties might include talking to producers, talking to casting directors to try to get auditions for actors, setting up general meetings with directors, dealing with publicity and ADR for projects, fixing air conditioners, getting drinks with and for people, dumpster diving, and organizing travel. But we're here to talk about coverage.

On a daily basis, scripts and projects are submitted to our clients here to read and consider, in case they find a movie they would like to be in. Its my job to read the scripts that come in for a select few clients, and then write a short synopsis on the script, and give my thoughts on it as well. Sporadically, i will provide brief descriptions of the characters involved in the project as well.

Because of the clients that my boss deals with, sometimes we get sent projects that ultimately are made into studio released movies. So sometimes you'll get to see coverage on movies you might be seeing trailers for.

To start, I figured I would start with one of my favourite scripts. SHOULDERPADS is a musical set back in the early 60s, and about the working woman getting ahead in a world of glass ceilings. Oh yeah, except by "favourite" I mean that this was probably one of the worst scripts I have ever read. So enjoy!

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SHOULDERPADS

Synopsis: The year is 1963. This is the era where women are just starting make an appearance in the workplace. Fading away is the conception of women as the ideal housewives, there to cook, clean, and keep their husband happy - drink in his hand when he comes through the door. Enter HOPE, the Vasser valedictorian, who has just graduated, and refuses to be the ideal housewife. She wants to enter into the workplace, and she winds up with a job at a some beauty advertising agency, where she will be working as a secretary to ROWENA MARX - one woman at the firm who is everything that Hope wants to be. Powerful, smart, and driven - she doesn’t take shit from anyone else at the company, and it shows. The kind of boss who would be an agent at UTA or something. Hope makes friends with the two other secretaries, GRACE and JUDY - their bosses are the stereotypical. Judy’s Boss, RICHARD is a shovenest pig who is in his 50s, and just greasy and gross, thinks he still has it, but we know he doesn’t. Grace’s Boss CHAS. He is a younger version of Richard, except he actually does have it. And by “it” I mean “a torrid office romance with his secretary, Grace. Of course he’s using her.

In mid-song and dance number, Marx talks to Hope and describes to her their current project - to find the perfect woman for their new feminie product, SUMMER SNOW - shampoo, conditioner, vaginal perfume, and diuretic all in one. Oh yeah. Now all they need is the poster child for the product. In the midst of the song, we get to watch Richard and Chas use their secretaries for their own sexual gain, and then kick them to the curb.

Hope begins flirting with BILLY, who works in the mailroom (gasp! its totally off limits to be interested in someone lower on the totem pole than you.) He’s all apparently the perfect man - grows flowers, cooks like a god, and is super super nice and considerate.

The the girls continue to bond, and in their musical number telling us this is what is happening, “the girls become a jazzy girl group ala the Lennon Sisters.” It is revealed that whichever of the 3 bosses finds the perfect model to represent Summer Snow will be promoted, and the the other two are going to get the axe. Marx begins to reveal that behind all her bravado, she’s quite lonely, and vulnerable. But only for a moment.

The girls hatch a plan to seduce the other two guys and figure out what their respective plans are to do for the campaign. Grace gets hit by a truck singing about how much she loves her boss (who has no feeling for her at all.) Hope falls for Billy. We find out that Richard got Judy preggers, and she gets an abortion. More singing. Marx is ultimately fired, and as she leaves Hope with a choice - pursue her job, or pursue love (Billy.) Then she leaves to go to Tuscon to be with her long lost love, leaving Hope in charge of her part of the campaign. Getting lost in the midst of her work, she alienates Billy from her. Ultimately, Hope pulls the campaign off spectacularly, and gives a presentation using all of the women in the office, saying that the real face of Summer Snow is everyone. She gets promoted, gets a corner office, the men are axed, and Hope apologizes to Billy, gets him back, and marries him - in the last song she can be leaving the house while Billy waves good bye, holding twins and cooking. Fin.

OVERVIEW: Remember my original coverage? With the batman doll video? I maintain my stance. The lyrics are terrible, the message is stupid, the characters are stupid and flat, the friends are no good, and everything is far far far too predictable. Even the lines in between the songs are stupid. Some people are a little too perfect, and its just.... really goddamed lame. I mean, seriously. I don’t like any one of these characters. And the Summer Snow product? PLEASE. Mamma Mia was good cause it used Abba songs and had international pull because of it. THIS HAS NONE OF THAT. I mean, if you want to take all the work that went into Letters to Juliet, Im.Mortal, and Red Riding hood, and flush it down the toilet, after taking a crap on it, then go for it. I don’t care if Scorcese was attached to this project, its terrible. Shit, Marty would be smart enough to know that this is bad. I think someone put syphillis on the paper of these scripts so you actually go insane when you read it, and that’s why people keep saying “they’re crazy about it.”

But I digress. PASS.